Surrendering to what is.
When you surrender to a situation, life flows beautifully but the word ‘surrender’ often has negative connotations.
You may think that surrendering means giving up, giving in and taking no further action, or that it signifies you’ve had something demanded from you and you have given it under duress. But surrendering to a situation in order to allow your life to flow is something quite different.
Surrendering this way is an act of belief and trust; it’s a conscious choice made in the moment, specifically to allow you to stop worrying and stressing, take a step back and allow your body and mind to search for a solution or an alternative to what’s happening.
Take the instance of redundancy. If, like me, you’ve ever been told that your job is at risk you’ll understand the emotional rollercoaster than ensues. After that initial sentence uttered by your manager or HR person, the disbelief, the numbness and the confusion sets in and you don’t really hear anything else. Then the anger, the depression, the hurt, the betrayal then the panic sets in as you start worrying about finding a new job, paying the bills, whether you can afford the mortgage. As this escalates you start envisioning living under a bridge with your kids and wandering the streets alone looking in the rubbish for your next meal – stressful? You bet it is!!!
A lot of the stress and worry is created by two things
1) You have absolutely no control of the fact your job is now at risk and that you are in a consultation period
2) Nothing is yet set in stone so you are unsure what exactly will happen and when.
Because you are now operating from highly stressed mode, you can’t think clearly (it’s part of the fight or flight response and perfectly natural) and you need to have some time away from that situation to let that response mechanism pass.
Once that’s dispersed you can start making conscious decisions. Work out what is not under your control and surrender to that. In this example you are not in control of the actual redundancy process (the company is) so consciously let go of trying to control that
Work out what you are in control of.
In the first instance this would be your reaction. Yes you are in control of your reaction. You choose in every moment how you think and act and feel.
You are also in control of choosing to look for internal positions that may be open to you and choosing to look for work elsewhere, or choosing to start your own business or take early retirement if that’s available to you.
Stay in the place of taking control of what you can control and letting go of (surrendering) to what you can’t. You can’t force the company to stop the redundancy but you can make the best impression for any internal roles currently available and maybe for roles created for you because the company sees how calm and interested in alternatives you are.
You can’t change the fact that there may not be any internal roles suitable for you, but you can take control in finding other roles elsewhere
When you consciously surrender to what you can’t control and consciously act upon what you can control, life flows and opportunities open up.
This is exactly what happened to a great lady I know. Once she surrendered to the redundancy situation, not only did she get three interviews for great external roles but was offered a role that wasn’t previously an option for her within the company, meaning she didn’t have to change companies, pay more out on travel, move to another area or change her lifestyle.
So I urge you to give it a go. Ask yourself where you could surrender to a situation that you have no control over, in order to allow solutions and actions to bubble up and create great flow and harmony in your life.
If you need some help with any of the subjects I talk about, let me know and we can have a conversation; I may be able to give you a quick tip or two to get you on the right track!
If you’re interested in starting your own journey into your Midlife Miracle, my ‘Re-Claim Your Power’ online course + support is now available. For more info and to enrol click here
Have a fabulous week!
With love & respect