How do you make bold life-changes even when you can’t change your situation?
I hear this a lot from many women I speak to. They want to make change, they’re desperate to make change but they just can’t. So how do you make bold life-changes even when you can’t change your situation?
Most of the time you’ll say you can’t because you’re stuck in a loveless relationship. You can’t because they you kids at home. You can’t because you need their job to pay the bills. You can’t because you have no choice; you are stuck in the situation you are in.
First off, just think about the truth of that. Maybe those things make it more difficult to make bold life-changing choices and decisions, but do they really make it impossible?
There are 7 billion people on the planet and just under half of them are women. That’s around 3.5 billion women. Out of those 3.5 billion women I think we can agree that some will be in loveless relationships, some will have kids, some will have to do a job they dislike in order to pay the bills and yet there are literally millions of women making exactly the same kind of life-changes you are dreaming of making. So what’s really stopping you?
First I would challenge the belief around not being able to change your situation. Except in extreme circumstances, most of us could change where we are. Yes you could leave your partner. Yes you could actually leave your partner/parent/friend/the state to look after your kids. Yes you could hand your notice into your boss and walk out the door, and yet they are not decisions we either want to take lightly, or take at all!
It’s not the situation that’s keeping you stuck; it’s your beliefs around the situation that’s keeping you firmly in this place.
Think about it. All emotions aside, you could actually choose to walk out of your job. Of course there are severe consequences around that, and I’m not suggesting for one minute that you do, but theoretically, you could. It’s important to open your mind to the fact that you do have the choice so that your mind feels safe enough to get creative around your solution.
So what’s the belief you have around your situation equalling not being able to make life-changing decisions?
Is it a time-constraint? Maybe you need to get creative around time management (organisation, creating a supportive schedule etc) or asking for a change your working hours to support you.
Is it lack of energy? Maybe you need to work out better ways to manage your energy and keep your energy levels up (better diet, exercise, mindfulness practice etc).
Is it lack of clarity over what you do want? Maybe you need to spend some time exploring and working out what you want.
Work out your beliefs around why it’s not possible, and then get creative to work out what is possible.
- You could start batching your tasks according to your energy levels through the day or week.
- You could do a time-audit to explore the time-suck areas of your life and start to eliminate them from your day.
- You could make a list of things you could delegate or short-cut to make your life easier.
- You could explore how to start bringing in more exercise or activity to your daily life.
- You could download some guided meditations to listen to on your commute (not if driving!) or during your lunch break.
- You could dedicate 1 hour a week to doing something special or adventurous for yourself.
- You could get a friend or family member to watch the kids for a couple of hours at the weekend so you can catch up on those annoying little jobs that need doing, freeing up mind-space for bigger plans.
- You could do some journaling to get the ideas and thoughts flowing. For some great journaling prompts click here
So get creative and start exploring your options without that inner-critic telling you all the reasons why you can’t.
You may not be able to change your situation, but you sure as hell can change the way you think about it, feel about it and change the way your behave around it. And if you need any help with this, let me know and let’s see if I have a solution for you.